Technology is saving our love lives
I would just like to put it out there, before I even begin, that I am not a cold-hearted bitch who doesn’t want to spend time with my boyfriend, and I do not subject my boyfriends to a list of rules when we start dating (well not a written one, at least). I am, however, a morning person, which usually means I’m in bed by 10pm at the latest. Those who know me can testify that if you aren’t with me at dinnertime you’ve got Buckley’s chance of spending time with me that night. So be there at 7pm when the plates hit the dinner table or better luck tomorrow night. That is unless you have a phone, which I’m certain most would, because then you can text me, call me, viber me, snapchat me all you want (up until 10pm of course). But don’t expect me to leave my house past seven. This was something that boyfriend numero uno found hard to grasp. You see, his idea of appropriate visiting hours was 24/7, around the clock. It didn’t matter if one of us finished work at midnight – to him it was practically still the afternoon – he’d be knocking at the door wanting to come inside. Uh, no thanks buddy. Call me a nanna or whatever you want, but nothing productive, or good, gets done past 10pm anyway. And I mean nothing. (Please note that point A applies here). I guess he was one of those old fashioned types who thought telephones were destroying relationships. He probably would have preferred me to send him love letters full of poetic imagery via snail mail, but I on the other hand, chose to rely very heavily on my phone to keep our relationship alive (hence why he’s boyfriend numero uno and not boyfriend currento). Like I said before, it’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with my beau, because believe me I do. But I can’t deny that my relationships just seem to work a lot better when most of the communicating is done through messages and phone calls. So, let me introduce you to B2 (boyfriend numero dos). A new boy, and a new relationship, and if we are to compare the affairs, I’d say this one is going much smoother. And I’ll bet you can guess why! It’s because we both love to chat on the phone, and understand this will not destroy our relationship. We send each other a few messages every day and if we can’t see each other one night, then we call. These days, there’s so much pressure on young relationships to make them as serious as you can, it’s almost as if we play a game between our friends of who can spend the most nights with their boyfriend a week, but when, God forbid, you can’t see each other, it’s like the world crumbles around you. When B1 and I were dating, my best friend was dating his best friend. So when the comments rolled in about how much time they spent together, my response was always the same: «You know the rules, I’m your girlfriend, not your late night booty call.» (POINT B, REMEMBER POINT B!) I guess that’s what it comes down to, my phone saves my relationship because it means that I can have my boundaries, but also keep the other party happy. It’s not that it dictates or controls my life; I’m definitely not that person who sits on their phone texting 24 hours a day. But to some extent, it allows my relationship to exist outside of just the time we physically spend together, however much that may be each week. The result is that B2 and I don’t fight, we don’t bicker, and we don’t get annoyed if someone is exceptionally busy and so we can only see each other once or twice a week. Instead we realise that we have our phones, so we pick them up and give each other a call. And let me tell you, it’s magic. I feel like a 13 year-old girl again, getting wooed by her first love. Every his name flashes on my screen, my heart starts racing. We’re apart, but together is one simple ‘click’ away.